If you’re concerned about someone:
- Ask them directly if they are feeling suicidal. This will not ‘put the idea in their head’. It shows you're willing to have an honest and caring kōrero/conversation.
- You might begin by gently asking: "Sometimes people who are impacted by a suicide have thoughts of dying or taking their own life. Is that something you’re experiencing?"
- Talk about their reasons for living, who they can go to for support, or just sit with them. They might not open up immediately, but knowing you’re there can make a huge difference.
- If they are considering dying, they need help right away. Stay with them and seek urgent support. See here if someone is at immediate risk.
See here for more guidance if you’re worried about someone.
You don’t need to have all the answers. Just being there with patience and kindness, and without judgement, can be incredibly powerful.
If you’re worried tamariki or rangatahi are thinking about suicide
This can be an especially overwhelming time for other people, particularly tamariki and rangatahi, as they try to understand and deal with their loss. Some may even have thoughts of suicide themselves.
If you're ever worried about a young person having thoughts of suicide, please reach out. It’s important to gently reassure them that they are not alone, and that it's okay to talk about what they’re feeling. Let them know they can come to you, or someone they trust, whenever they need to.
Talk to your family doctor, hauora or health professional, school counsellor or local mental health service.
If someone is at immediate risk
If someone has attempted suicide, or you are seriously concerned for their safety:
- Call your local mental health crisis assessment team, or take them to the emergency department (ED) of your nearest hospital.
- If someone is in immediate danger, call 111.
- Stay with them until help arrives.
- Remove anything they could use to harm themselves, such as ropes, pills, guns, car keys, knives, poisons. If they live in a high-rise building, help them find somewhere to stay in single-level accommodation.
- Stay calm. Let them know you care and that they are not alone.
- Listen. Let them talk without judging. Ask gentle questions.
- Make sure you are safe, too.