Reaching out to someone you trust, like a whānau member, friend, kuia or kaumātua, priest or counsellor can bring comfort and connection in a painful time. 

You can also access Aoake te Rā, a free suicide bereavement service that offers between six and eight counselling sessions with trained therapists. You can refer yourself here, or refer someone else here. To help with referrals, you can email them at referrals@aoake-te-ra.org.nz, or leave a message on 0800 000 053 (please leave your name and contact details). 

If you’d prefer to speak to someone independently, your GP may be able to recommend a counsellor, psychologist or therapist who understands suicide loss and grief. You might also ask others in your community who have found helpful support. 

You can search for these professionals online at: 

• New Zealand Association of Counsellors – Te Rōpū Kaiwhiriwhiri o Aotearoa
• New Zealand College of Clinical Psychologists – Te Whare Wānanga o te Mātauranga Hinengaro
• Talking Works
• Skylight  
• The Grief Centre  (Auckland-based; North Shore). 

When looking for the right support, you might want to ask: 

• What experience do they have with suicide bereavement? 
• Have they had training in suicide grief and loss? 
• Are they comfortable discussing suicide and talking about this kind of pain? 
• Do they have lived experience of suicide loss? (This isn't essential, but some people find it helpful to know.)

Many counselling services charge a fee, so it’s a good idea to ask about costs upfront. Some therapists offer sliding scale fees, or may be eligible for funded sessions. Alternatively, your GP may be able to provide you with a referral to access a free counselling service. 

No matter where you begin, connection with others can help. If someone doesn't understand your story and what it means for you, find someone else who does.  

Ahakoa te ngarohanga, ka ora te ngākau i te hāpai a te hunga tata. 

Though there is loss, the heart is sustained by those who uplift you.